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Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. Introverts are described with words like "guarded," "loner," "reserved," "taciturn," "self-contained," "private"—narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggest emotional parsimony and smallness of personality.

Female introverts, I suspect, must suffer especially. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts.

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But as much as Jack and I would like to see our divorce as past tense, it's a permanent state to my kids.

With each new developmental stage, they have new questions and worries. D., a leading divorce researcher and coauthor of What About the Kids?

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Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? But at last I have self-identified and come out to my friends and colleagues.

Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice? If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands—and that you aren't caring for him properly. In doing so, I have found myself liberated from any number of damaging misconceptions and stereotypes.If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Science has learned a good deal in recent years about the habits and requirements of introverts. Now I am here to tell you what you need to know in order to respond sensitively and supportively to your own introverted family members, friends, and colleagues. In its modern sense, the concept goes back to the 1920s and the psychologist Carl Jung.It has even learned, by means of brain scans, that introverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up). Remember, someone you know, respect, and interact with every day is an introvert, and you are probably driving this person nuts. Today it is a mainstay of personality tests, including the widely used Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Shy people are anxious or frightened or self-excoriating in social settings; introverts generally are not."Introverts," writes a perceptive fellow named Thomas P.Crouser, in an online review of a recent book called Why Should Extroverts Make All the Money?If you are behind the curve on this important matter, be reassured that you are not alone. Introverts are also not misanthropic, though some of us do go along with Sartre as far as to say "Hell is other people at breakfast." Rather, introverts are people who find other people tiring.

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